My friend observed to me this afternoon that I am woefully behind in posting to my actual blog. The Prelude is up to date, and the page on books I've been reading is almost up to date, but I'm not doing so well in this department. Or any writing department yet. I'm surprised at how daunted I am by the blank page. I intend to get over it.
Retirement is about six weeks along, and so far it is a whole lot of housework. Quite satisfying housework, but still it is all about transition. I'm told by my elders that it will take a while, so I'm not frustrated yet, and I have hope that when the dust settles, I will find my pace and attend to the creative sirens that lured me to take the step.
After seventeen years of first seminary and then non-stop parish ministry, this house needs a lot of my attention. There was not a spare bookcase anywhere, and 16 boxes of books followed me home from the church office, so I've given quite a lot away. I thought I'd feel all nostalgic and depressed about this, but I'm actually energized about it, imagining that I'm a seminarian who has come across this treasure trove of nearly new books. It's mostly preaching resources and pretty hard-core theology, and my attitude is that, except for the rare few I'm keeping, if I haven't read it by now, I probably am not going to. And that if I've read it once, it's time to read something new.
Peter Walsh is my guardian angel in all this purging. He used to be on Oprah and is now on Rachael Ray a lot, and he sees clutter as a truly spiritual issue. Too much stuff robs us of the life we are meant to live, a life in the now rather than the past. The small areas of order I've managed to create so far truly are sources of inner peace. Walsh's first book is It's All Too Much, but the one I really like is Does All this Clutter Make my Butt Look Fat. Maybe it's just the title, but it's great. I'm getting to know the guy at Good Will pretty well. And I'm looking forward to more peace and order.
But in all this sorting I'm still making time for rest, exercise, fun with children and grandchildren, cooking (I''ll tend to that page next), and reading.
I"m missing St. Alban's terribly. Terribly. Really. The people especially, but much to my surprise, the weekly sermon writing and sharing. It's a gap in my schedule and my inner life. Saying that I miss the liturgy doesn't even begin to express that hole in my life. It's going to take time to find a new parish. We're giving it time.
I know that it was time to retire, but it still hurt. I need to be with the grandchildren before they are grown, not to mention John Bennet and friends. My blood pressure is down about 20 points. I need exercise and a better diet. And St. Alban's is so incredibly healthy and will find just the right person to lead them in the next phase of their exciting and blessed life.
So that's where I am right now. A work in progress. It's going to take a while, but it is good. Thanks be to God.
